So it's raining. Hard. Me, I'm minding my own business, fatigued beyond reason and a growing pain behind my eyes. By 9, I make decision to embrace my leg pillow and knock myself out. Suddenly, I'm sitting upright, having heard what sounds like a car crashing into my garage....or a pipe-bomb blowing up my neighbor's house. It's 4am, and the thunderstorm rages on. Two seconds later, a CLUNK - and the power goes out.
My Vesties (dizzy friends) who also have tinnitus will understand when I say - total silence is like torture, which is ironic because too much sound is just as bad. But when total silence exists, there's this evil little creature that resides in the folds of our brains, that makes it his business to turn up the volume of the infernal ringing. One day, I'm going to have my Honey press his ear against mine and make him listen for it!
My Vesties (dizzy friends) who also have tinnitus will understand when I say - total silence is like torture, which is ironic because too much sound is just as bad. But when total silence exists, there's this evil little creature that resides in the folds of our brains, that makes it his business to turn up the volume of the infernal ringing. One day, I'm going to have my Honey press his ear against mine and make him listen for it!
NO! NO NO! I lay back in my bed, eyes wide open and noticing little flickers of light - my little friends, the aura fairies, dancing to the now VERY audible ringing and rumbling in my ears. It's a party I refuse to attend!!!
Being the reasonable person that I am, I close my eyes, determined to go back to sleep.
*ten minutes later*
Turns out, when there's no power, Honey's c-pap machine won't work, and he's sawing enough logs to build us a 4000sq ft log cabin.
Hey....not his fault, so I gently cover him with a sheet, grab my pillow and head out for the couch.
God, how I love this furniture. Couch, love seat, recliner - all 'leather'. It's a beautiful set. Did I mention that when the power went out, so did the air-conditioning. Humidity increased to the point one can literally step outside and drink the air. I'm tempted to march myself back into that bedroom and steal the sheet off my husband's back. After all - it's hot, right?
At any rate, I finally fall asleep, and even wake in time to head out to work.
Honey knows I probably didn't sleep well and wants to know how I feel...at 8:30 this morning.
It's a trick question. If I tell him I feel bad, then he forbids me (Yeah...I KNOW) from doing anything, then has to do everything himself, which results in a very Roman Catholic sense of guilt. So, no matter how I feel, I make myself function. I make myself shower, get dressed, and I carefully choose my attitude and accompanying smile. Then, despite orders to give up coffee, I feel crappy enough I make that one cup of half-caff, and take it outside to my new garden spot and sit next to my fountain, eyes closed. I don't even feel like I'm cheating.
I breathe deep. I don't ask for relief, I expect it. The air is still humid, but the clouds are still out and the breeze makes it all bearable.
I count my blessings:
My gardens
My cats, who clamor for my attention
My fountain, which works as a physical and mental soother
My friend - my patient, with whom I laugh...hard....almost every day.
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